we're blogging at a bar
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
