You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
