My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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