Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Randomize
