Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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