Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
