I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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