I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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