So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
