I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
MIDGETS
????
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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