I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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