My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
