I'm really into asian looking animals
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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