when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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