Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
