So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
