yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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