Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
