Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
