Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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