please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
did you just send me my own nude
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize