do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
