Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize