There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
