Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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