yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
