So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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