Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
