Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
