It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
