Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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