I want to have your abortion
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
