She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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