the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize