he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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