I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I lost the right to judge tonight
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
