"it" just moved
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
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