well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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