Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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