Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize