Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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