I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
