i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
