My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
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