My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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