why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
