OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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