i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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