Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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