I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
