If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
