yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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