i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
