Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
