did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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