god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize