sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
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