i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
