I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Can I color on your dick again?
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
