i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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