I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
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