drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I understand Curling. That high.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
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