just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
