Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
You smell like a Billy Joel song
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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