Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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