I like to think it a success when the cops are called
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
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