..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
