I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
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