Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Randomize
