so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
