You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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