I wish my penis had an off switch
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
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