Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
