dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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