You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
