even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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