you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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